So apparently I am a neurotic but not a complete neurotic. I am trying to figure this thing out. For example, during the evening in my room I saw a big cockroach sauntering toward the rubbish bin. So - I hadn't seen any cockroaches for the longest time...a real blessing! but there used to be loads of them in the bathroom...it was such a problem when we first moved here...so that I have become sort of neurotic about cockroaches. This was the first one in a long time. Well...I was like, I should be freaking out...but I guess I went into denial? I don't know...but I knew there was a cockroach around there. Then later I was eating dinner and I went to the sink to wash my hands and I knew it was close by...sure enough, it was lurking in the shadows. So I decided it was time and I grabbed a long-handled broom and starting smashing him. Then he hid behind some boxes and so I started moving stuff around and whacking and then I started screaming too...because I was getting freaked out at the thought of the cockroach being close to me and also that it was injured and I had injured it was freaky. So my roommate came over and finished him off and calmly disposed of it...(all the while talking on the phone w/ a friend). Meanwhile I scream a little bit more then I wash my hands and go back to dinner and calmly finish dinner...

This is why I say I am neurotic but not a complete neurotic. My roommate said I was cruel. I asked why. She said because I was so freaked out but I was killing it anyway.