Wow, God really works in amazing ways, in places we may be completely unaware of...we leave, hopeless - come back - to hope. I see this in so many places. It is a reminder: Never lose hope.

God is merciful.

I think I am having an epiphany - about logic and life, the world and wildness...more on that later.

Today Ike and I came up with some new verses to a very familiar song...it was FUN to sing!


This is the day, this is the day
That the Lord has made, that the Lord has made
We will rejoice, we will rejoice
And be glad in it, and be glad in it

This is the day that the Lord has made
We will rejoice and be glad in it
This is the day, this is the day
That the Lord has made


You are the one, you are the one
That the Lord has made, that the Lord has made
We will rejoice, we will rejoice
And be glad in you, and be glad in you

You are the one that the Lord has made,
We will rejoice and be glad in you
You are the one, you are the one
That the Lord has made


I am the one, I am the one
That the Lord has made, that the Lord has made
I will rejoice, I will rejoice
And be glad in me, and be glad in me

I am the one that the Lord has made,
I will rejoice and be glad in me
I am the one, I am the one
That the Lord has made


He is the one, she is the one
That the Lord has made, that the Lord has made
We will rejoice, we will rejoice
And be glad in them, and be glad in them

They are the ones that the Lord has made
We will rejoice and be glad in them
He is the one, she is the one
That the Lord has made


This is the world, this is the world
That the Lord has made, that the Lord has made
We will rejoice, we will rejoice
And take care of it, and take care of it

This is the earth that the Lord has made
We will rejoice and take care of it
This is the world, this is the world
That the Lord has made


This is the night, this is the night
That the Lord has made, that the Lord has made
We will rejoice, we will rejoice
And be glad in it, and be glad in it

This is the night that the Lord has made
We will rejoice and be glad in it
This is the night, this is the night
That the Lord has made

I feel so strange...in some sort of limbo? It's like in between... So it's a really long weekend. It is Good Friday and Easter. I am home with my family. And there are political protests at strategic intersections (the biggest one was not far from where I live)...it's Thai summer but it rains in thunderstorms every day (the sky is dark) - Monday starts the Thai New Year's and water festival... It seems like everything should be bright and happy - and it is, but also feeling kind of topsy-turvy... interesting. :-)

I have to be confident in Jesus, and to trust Him - when there is turmoil all around, and life is uncertain:

Think of Peter, walking on the waves - and Jesus, calling to Him - as long as he kept his eyes on his Saviour, he could walk on water

- and so can we...we can walk on tossing and turning waves, if we fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith.

How funny - it is all coming together, about faith...

...how merciful God is, to give us so many pictures we can see, from the Gospels, in Jesus.

I can say this - but I know - I am nowhere near perfection...I am yet so helpless - and fickle, at times. And it's been so long - I pray this doesn't go away. God has slowly been building me back up - from a life that had fallen apart...and faith worn thin, held onto by determination only. I had lost sight.

There is one thing that always helps me to remember: No pride.

I think I may have been too prideful, in the past, to truly rely on Jesus - so that I could say, what I am, I am because of Jesus. I think I am still a bit too prideful. But God is showing me now.

I just pray He will give me strength whenever things are hard, and I can't bear them on my own. (I have to trust that He will.)

Today is Good Friday.

Lately the words are stuck inside...

I think I tend to be an optimist about the bad in life and a pessimist about the good in life - in acceptance, that is...I'm not sure what this amounts to.

It would be so nice if I could get home from work by 5:00 PM everyday. Especially with the longer daylight of summer days, it feels almost like a holiday.

I feel really lonely. I don't like the unrest...the red and yellow...the red looks scary.

My family is home on the other side of town and my roommate just left to visit her family in another province for Thai New Year's. When there's political unrest in the city it's not really fun being all alone - somehow I really miss everyone.

I feel so terrible...there are a bunch of little things that people ask me to do here and there sometimes, and I haven't been doing them. They've been slipping through the cracks...between work, between trying to have down time and trying to do good stuff and connect with people...:'| I feel really, really bad about this...sometimes, when I'm really tired - I just block out everything else and I don't think about the consequences of not doing stuff - even if I already said I would do it...and I think this will damage my relationships with people. :(

Feeling bad doesn't make things better though.

:'| :'| :"|

Inwardly we are being renewed day by day...

...so let him who boasts, boast in the Lord

Somehow, God always gives me strength and hope for a new day...

5:45 am...tomorrow at this time i'll be getting up to go to work...

i wish...

...i wish i never had to go back :P

sometimes i get flying moments...

sometimes from music - certain songs

or else just feeling at peace, with quiet all around me ...:o)

Things i need

shoes (i keep wearing out my shoes, very fast...i guess i walk too fast)
more food to eat (i just don't get myself enough food)

Recommended: Hebrews 11, NASB

I would like to lie down and sleep for 10,000 years. What's hard is that I can't tell what is reality and what is not, because reality is flawed by people perceptions. This is all we have to go by...yours and mine -

- isn't that amazing? it's so strange. i don't think this means that we create realities, but more that our interACTION with reality matters and has an impact. We have to interACT with reality to LIVE. it's how to survive.