Friday, March 30, 2007
Blogging
It's hard to blog not knowing who will be reading this, not knowing the person/people I'm writing for. I need to get used to this. I still sound so stiff! :P
God first.
Today I felt upset and muddled and frustrated by a lot of things. That was it: a lot of things. I wanted to sort it all out and I couldn't. I found myself investing in this and that and running out of energy. Sometimes I'm pouring out all I have and I still want to give more. I felt worry and concern for so many things.
And then I realized I didn't see God anywhere in this picture. I switched my focus right there and then and then felt at peace. To invest in God is, surprisingly, enough. It puts all else in perspective. So trite, so true.
And then I realized I didn't see God anywhere in this picture. I switched my focus right there and then and then felt at peace. To invest in God is, surprisingly, enough. It puts all else in perspective. So trite, so true.
"I have summoned you by name..."
Do you know how it feels when a baby says your name for the first time? Maybe that's what it feels like the first time a person calls on God, willingly recognizes Him on their own for the first time.
On my bike ride I wound out visiting some neighbors. I hadn't meant to, but they're such good friends I can never pass them up. The mother came in holding her little 1 year-11 1/2 month-old son. This baby is the darling of the relatives, the family friends, the church. He has at least a score of older siblings--or people all too ready to act so--who insanely dote on him. I'm one of them. He gets more attention than a celebrity...and so much love. No wonder he's just bursting with joy.
His smile is so precious. The significance of this is that his father is one of the most loving fathers I know. He is one loved child. And he brings joy to so many. He doesn't look like some celebrity baby or act like one. What draws people is his innocent, naive, trusting face. It's his big, dark eyes that can be so innocent one moment and so playfully mischievous the next. And that heartbreaking smile. I just think we should smile like that because of our Father in heaven. We're that loved.
Yesterday his mother held him as she walked up to me. I hadn't been playing with him or trying to elicit a word or two from him, as we often do. I hadn't even spoken to him just yet. He took one look at me, lit up, and said, "P'Anne!" It was so unmistakable in sound. And I knew he knew fully meant it, because his little face just brightened up as he said it. (The "P" is the prefix for 'older person' in Thai.) Those two syllables held diamonds. I felt warm inside for a long time after that.
On my bike ride I wound out visiting some neighbors. I hadn't meant to, but they're such good friends I can never pass them up. The mother came in holding her little 1 year-11 1/2 month-old son. This baby is the darling of the relatives, the family friends, the church. He has at least a score of older siblings--or people all too ready to act so--who insanely dote on him. I'm one of them. He gets more attention than a celebrity...and so much love. No wonder he's just bursting with joy.
His smile is so precious. The significance of this is that his father is one of the most loving fathers I know. He is one loved child. And he brings joy to so many. He doesn't look like some celebrity baby or act like one. What draws people is his innocent, naive, trusting face. It's his big, dark eyes that can be so innocent one moment and so playfully mischievous the next. And that heartbreaking smile. I just think we should smile like that because of our Father in heaven. We're that loved.
Yesterday his mother held him as she walked up to me. I hadn't been playing with him or trying to elicit a word or two from him, as we often do. I hadn't even spoken to him just yet. He took one look at me, lit up, and said, "P'Anne!" It was so unmistakable in sound. And I knew he knew fully meant it, because his little face just brightened up as he said it. (The "P" is the prefix for 'older person' in Thai.) Those two syllables held diamonds. I felt warm inside for a long time after that.
A tropical midsummer night's eve
Yesterday I went bike riding. A spectacular sunset, a warm, humid wind blowing, the papery sound of palm leaves rustling in tandem to the cicadas, all the relaxed people. It felt just like curling up before a fire with hot chocolate in winter. I felt so peaceful it could almost be called drowsiness, but too happy to be sleepy. For the first time in a long time, I didn't feel like going inside. I caught myself dawdling. I took the longest route home, and then went right past our house. :) And when I came inside, I walked slowly--in contented reverence of all I knew was still outside.
Passions
Passions bring us alive when we're immersed in them. They're more than interests. They tug at our hearts when we hear something that has the least bit to do with them, and make our hearts throb when we pursue them. It's not just something we're well-versed in or something we've mastered. Rather, a passion is ours when we bring that subject alive--even if we're not well-versed in it. And there's a paradoxical symbiosis, because it masters us before we can bring it alive.
It's the thing or things we can talk and talk about, and at the same time the thing that might make us drift from everyday conversation with a dreamy look in our eyes, it can make us gregarious or silence us.
Maybe we cry sometimes because we don't know what it is, or we know all too well but we can't pursue it. But God knows. He knows.
"For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb." ~ Psalm 139:13
It's the thing or things we can talk and talk about, and at the same time the thing that might make us drift from everyday conversation with a dreamy look in our eyes, it can make us gregarious or silence us.
Maybe we cry sometimes because we don't know what it is, or we know all too well but we can't pursue it. But God knows. He knows.
"For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb." ~ Psalm 139:13
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Thoughts on being 22!
I thought I would feel so much older. But I don't. The whole of life unlived, packed with unknown events, pushes me back. I have so much ahead of me! I actually feel younger.
There is so much in store--probably at least another 22 years, maybe much less, maybe much more.
But I'm sure I will feel older at 23. Twenty-two is such a cute, neat and tidy number. It looks young...maybe even younger than 21. It doesn't bear the burdens of twenty-one. It's like a step back, perhaps a pause before the real thing? Whatever it is, I like it. It's a year to live it up. Every once in awhile I'm sure I'll find a youngish year and live it up.
There is so much in store--probably at least another 22 years, maybe much less, maybe much more.
But I'm sure I will feel older at 23. Twenty-two is such a cute, neat and tidy number. It looks young...maybe even younger than 21. It doesn't bear the burdens of twenty-one. It's like a step back, perhaps a pause before the real thing? Whatever it is, I like it. It's a year to live it up. Every once in awhile I'm sure I'll find a youngish year and live it up.
Legacies
"All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field..." 1 Peter 1:24
Sometimes I am just shocked. I don't even know my great-great-grandparents' names. In modern society we are remembered, probably, for an average of three generations.
Yet our legacy is our children. I'm my parents' legacy to the world.
Sometimes I am just shocked. I don't even know my great-great-grandparents' names. In modern society we are remembered, probably, for an average of three generations.
Yet our legacy is our children. I'm my parents' legacy to the world.
The human body and the Body of Christ
We often think about how the Body of Christ should function like the human body. But perhaps we don't usually think about it the other way around. The human body flourishes under the same conditions as the Body of Christ. Unity. Nourishment. Nurture. If we examine the conditions that help our bodies to function best, we might get a better understanding of how the church should function. If we examine the church, we might get a few clues as to how the human body should be nurtured.
The pastor at my church has said something I really like several times now. He says that it is the nature of the Kingdom of God and its various aspects to grow and flourish, and if it does not, it means there are obstacles--and these obstacles reside in us, not in God or in our environment. The same thing goes for our bodies. I think that the rate of success of alternative medicine demonstrates that our bodies are designed to heal themselves so they can function at their best. It is the nature of the human body to grow and flourish. But so often medicine is used to suppress symptoms: symptoms that evidence a deeper cause. It is not until that deeper cause is removed that the body can heal itself once again.
I have seen that in my own health struggles. I have also seen how important unity is in the function of the human body. It may sound New Age, but it is true. The mind's function cannot be separated from the body or from the spirit. Mental distress can wreak havoc on the body.
My favorite theology professor used to say that in Jesus' time, people didn't compartmentalize. If you believed it, you lived it. You couldn't not do so. But today, it's not hard to shut off what goes on in our minds, or even one part of our minds, and focus on other things we deem more important. Yet even if we shut it off, it can grow. Whether it's fear, anger, sadness, or hate...and then they burst the mental partitions. And we aren't ready to deal with them in such magnitude.
No conclusion today.
The pastor at my church has said something I really like several times now. He says that it is the nature of the Kingdom of God and its various aspects to grow and flourish, and if it does not, it means there are obstacles--and these obstacles reside in us, not in God or in our environment. The same thing goes for our bodies. I think that the rate of success of alternative medicine demonstrates that our bodies are designed to heal themselves so they can function at their best. It is the nature of the human body to grow and flourish. But so often medicine is used to suppress symptoms: symptoms that evidence a deeper cause. It is not until that deeper cause is removed that the body can heal itself once again.
I have seen that in my own health struggles. I have also seen how important unity is in the function of the human body. It may sound New Age, but it is true. The mind's function cannot be separated from the body or from the spirit. Mental distress can wreak havoc on the body.
My favorite theology professor used to say that in Jesus' time, people didn't compartmentalize. If you believed it, you lived it. You couldn't not do so. But today, it's not hard to shut off what goes on in our minds, or even one part of our minds, and focus on other things we deem more important. Yet even if we shut it off, it can grow. Whether it's fear, anger, sadness, or hate...and then they burst the mental partitions. And we aren't ready to deal with them in such magnitude.
No conclusion today.
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