Okay...that last post was a horrible way to start off a new year - but wait...I said there was no change in significance between one moment and the next...so there is no new year - wait - lol. I just noticed that the past few posts I've made have sounded awfully depressed. I must turn over a new leaf! Smile...say cheese (*cheese*!)...grin for the camera of life and because I do have reasons to smile. I really need to smile. Lately I always seem to feel a frown on my forehead...I don't know why (and this is why I'm writing...because I kind of need to vent) - I wish that going on autopilot didn't entail anxiety and that my mind would feel a teeny bit lighter. (Smile.) Really try. <> It's not working. I feel like Garfield.

I think that maybe the very simple thing I need is sleep. But somehow I think I've had enough of vacation. I think it would be nice to get back to work.

Oh - there is a verse. :-) This one is worth recording.

Psalm 27:1 is one of my favorite verses ever...I think it has been my verse this year - it always came to mind in the hardest of times: "The LORD is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid? " I cannot deny this verse. I liked it so much I put it on bookmarks and gave it out at Christmas. Amazingly it opened up the way for a conversation with someone who really, really needed to talk. I was encouraged that I was able to share with her that God could help her...and that I could mean it with all my heart and no doubt.

Yesterday I read the whole psalm and the last verse also stood out to me:

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."

I guess it is an appropriate end-of-the-year verse...although I would not prefer another year of waiting, I think waiting is so very important...I think it is one of the best ways to hear God speak. I think we don't hear God as often as we might because often we don't wait long enough.

I started out depressed and it turned into this...I guess it is good to encourage myself. Now I am a sort of emulsion - feeling both positive and negative. They don't exactly mix but they can coexist in one spot.

Sometimes I think when people (me) are depressed...they just want to be depressed and they don't really want to feel happy because depression is fulfilling in a morbid sort of way. So..................... (small grin)..................