I'm feeling depressed again. I think I just don't sleep very well at night and this is why I keep getting depressed and tired out. :| I also wish that life made more sense, sometimes - I mean, life makes sense...it's just hard to feel it at times. Argh...I feel so sad!

Oh well.

Despite the depression, I do feel that God has been very gracious to me. He has helped me to discover that the things I fear most don't necessarily come true. In fact, the mirror opposite of what I expect from my romanticized fears may actually occur. I think that if we are not free of fear, we must fight for it - God wants us to be free...and sometimes it takes overcoming our thoughts and feelings long enough to believe that God can set us free, and to ask Him to do so.

I think.

Lol...I am thinking that I can be very stubborn at times.

I am sorry my posts are so depressing of late. Somehow it just helps to say how I am feeling, and I don't want to go burdening people with it so putting it here helps. It is funny how I have plenty of "lols" in the middle of depression...the truth is that I feel both; I feel awful...terribly sad, as if I did enough sighing I might just sigh myself away and disappear...but I can also laugh because there is much to be mirthful about. Life is full of idiosyncrasies that won't readily be ignored.