Today I woke to the pounding of jackhammers next door. Apparently the neighbors had decided to redo their driveway, because the foundations had sunk into the ground. So it was chainsaws and jackhammers most of the day, with only a couple periods of reprieve.
I found I could be thankful that my job description didn't include working jackhammers. And for those workers, they could be thankful they had jobs. And for people without jobs - perhaps they can be thankful they don't have to work jackhammers.
In the evening, when the jackhammers had stopped, there was smoke because people were burning trash (normal in Thailand) - and this gets rather unbearable when it's also hot and dry (or hot and humid).
But I was sitting on the porch reflecting, and thinking. And I realized that I could actually sit there in peace; there were no mosquitoes, which was pretty amazing considering the time of day. I was able to enjoy the fresh air (the smoke had dissipated) and the sunset and watch my brothers practicing basketball and observe the plants in our yard flourishing from the rains of monsoon season. At this time of year in Thailand you can't look places without seeing lush greenery.
Perhaps I am beginning to sound like Pollyanna. But as I sat and thought, I realized that rejoicing is our greatest good in trial. There is something in the old adage, "Grin and bear it." - although most people who we see grinning and bearing it are almost certainly doing a whole lot more things than grinning and bearing it. Sometimes it's very hard to grin.
It's just, when you have nothing much left to give, energy-wise or emotional-wise, you can continue to give joy to others by being at peace and being charitable - and somehow, in some small ironic sense, these things can bring a great amount of joy. If you rejoice in trial, I am convinced the joy comes back to you.
The flip side of this is a bitter, complaining spirit. I feel sorry for people who have allowed themselves to fall prey to that (and for myself, when I do - because I do give in to the temptation at times) - because at that point, we have nothing left. Absolutely nothing. We become leeches, siphoning the life from others. No matter how much is given to us, we cannot notice it because we refuse to listen to what we hear - to validify any blessings God has given us by accepting them.
In those moments, that's when hope is lost. We become blessing-logged creatures, bloated because we give the blessings no place to go where they can bless us. In this uncomfortable state, we hurt many who try to help us.
Mm. As I sat on the porch today, I noticed the sunset sky above the rooftops. It was a pinkish-peach sky with pale raspberry blue clouds - a very sweet sky. Then I noticed the things most obscuring my view - a big satellite disk, and our own friendly-neighborhood electric lines, silhouetted against the lovely dusk. It is funny to think that these...things...that have become lifelines to many of us - obscure a sunset sky, which is every bit as, if not more life-giving and sustaining to the human soul.
The blessings are there, very much so - if only we choose honesty within ourselves, that our ears might listen for what is there for us to hear.
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