My thoughts are so flighty and disorganized. I wonder if they sound heretical, or at least theologically inconsistent. I'm a very naive person. I don't have a whole lot of trouble believing preposterous stories, which is not always good. Yet I think this very flexible mindset helps me to improvise with music and with life. I would choose personally to be easily taken in than not. It's a strange choice, I know--not that I don't want discernment; rather I want to be able to accept what's beyond our understanding.
I am not highly logical. I will immediately lose out in a theological debate. So sometimes it scares me that perhaps my thoughts aren't logic-proof. I'm so bad at logic I'm sure I drive some people nuts. I can never foresee the loopholes. But at the same time, I consciously go for the concepts--the overall. Even if I can't foolproof my logic, I like to try to foolproof my overarching concepts. And one of those concepts is that human logic is fallible and limited by the constraints of this world. Why can't it be defied? God has time and again. In fact, the existence of God, and thus our own existence, is beyond human logic.
I want to think bigger, greater, to outthink myself and overtake my own thoughts. I'm sure that even then I cannot keep up with God's greatness. Acknowledging it is but a bare glimpse. Oh, just look at the stars tonight!
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